I’m reunited with Chelo. (Taken with instagram)

Is Reagan Wacker Than Crack? (Taken with instagram)

Stairway to Heaven

This is both scary and intriguing. I want one.

This is what happens when I play in traffic

Occupy Dumb Ass. (Taken with instagram)

Union Square. (Taken with instagram)

As I was laying on my bed receiving sexual pleasure from a band of gummi bears, I partially distracted myself from climaxing by reading up on philosopher, Bertrandt Russell. You might know him indirectly. You’ve probably quoted Russell when he said something to the effect of, “the whole problem with the world today is that fools and fanatics are always so sure of themselves and wiser people so full of doubt.” It’s a wonderful observation, but if you’ve used that quote to, in some manner, refer to yourself, you’re probably a pretentious prick.

The point is, my dick went numb and the gummi bears couldn’t get me to cum. (Hey, that rhymed.) I was a bit intrigued by Mr. Russell and his philosophical views. One particular perspective regarding the traits of human beings caught my eye: “Contempt for happiness is usually contempt for other people’s happiness, and is an elegant disguise for hatred of the human race.” While this particular outlook that Mr. Russell has proposed to us (I sound like such a dick) may be interpreted in many ways, I’ve chosen to look at it as a symptom of selfishness.

Me, me, me. That’s all we seem to care about these days. Even when attempting to do a good deed for another person, we do it in hopes of receiving some type of praise or recognition. As far as I’m concerned, anyone who attempts to be a hero is only doing it for themselves. The only time I can say they aren’t is when a child may be involved, other than that you can’t convince that you were willing to risk your life to save a stranger because “it was the right thing to do.” You’re either seeking the appreciation or you’re getting off on the adrenaline rush.

Then there’s the workplace. Seriously, there’s no reason that people should be applying Godfather-like strategies against one another just to get a dollar raise for folding clothes. It’s fucking ridiculous. Then again, as long as you’re getting by, fuck the next guy. (Heh, that rhymed, too.) You got to get paid, right? So who cares that your co-worker needs more hours to support his kids? You have to support your addiction of collecting Pez dispensers. Pssh, fuck it.

We also have the same problem with selfishness in relationships. Everyone feels that the other person isn’t fully offering all of themselves in one of these godforsaken unions. So what does the other person do? They begin bullshitting, too.

It’s a problem in sports. It’s a problem with food rationing. It’s a problem with housing. It’s a problem with the economy. Actually, when it comes to the economy selfishness works as a double-edged sword, because our greed drives the economical state. It can also bring it to a halt once shit hits the fan and everyone wants to be all stingy with their money.

There’s nothing wrong with being selfish. It’s natural. It’s how we survive. You should always put yourself and the people you love before anything or anyone else. Your happiness should be the cardinal objective of your life, but remember, your selfishness may have an ill effect on others around you. I dare you to prove Mr. Russell wrong. Go out there and buy someone a drink, give half your sandwich to a homeless person and share a urinal with another man. I mean think about it, do you really want to slight my happiness by not sharing your gummi bears with me?

P.S

Before anyone comes at me with a bag of gummi bears, I must point out that I don’t really like gummi bears, worms or turds. However, I am a big fan of Kit Kat’s, Buncha Crunch, M&M’s, Almond Joy, Raisinettes and anything minty. Please keep this in mind before you approach me during our next encounter.

This is Cage. This is the same man that threatened to murder Eminem and raise his daughter Hailey. This is the same man that created Agent Orange. I’ve heard his newest material and it’s still Cage, but…wow.

Bape Work Type Bape Sta.

$286 USD.